So I used to be a fundamentalist Christian and loved to tell people they were going to hell.
Category: Short stories
The Caffeine Will Kill You
For years I would arrogantly bang on about being an atheist and belief in God was dumb but secretly I hoped, when death found me, I would get a hug and high-five from Jesus.
Meme Wars
Her words feel like she’d kicked me in the knackers. Funniest guy I’ve ever met. At that moment I would rather have heard her ask me to watch them both engage in fellatio. How had I become the runner-up in the funny man stakes?
Ted the Twat
Ted went bright red, his nostrils flared and his mouth pursed. His mouth reminded me of a hairy arsehole, all pursed lipped like that and wispy hair around his top lip. I thought about voicing my observation but he was still trying to process the fact I had called him a cunt.
Take Yourself Away
Take yourself away my beautiful one.Take yourself away from the thoughts of disdain,And vanquish the cloudy lack of worth,To see the gorgeous person you have become.Don’t be swept up in the lies of insecurity,Where you’re battered and gasping for air,Worrying if you have any strength or quality,Because I am swept up in who you are. Take…… Continue reading Take Yourself Away
Obnoxious Brits Abroad
I know I would be happy not to serve a half naked, sun burnt British guy who asked for Omelette and chips instead of gorgeous locally produced tapas.
Tom Haward 